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Money Problems Are a Leading Cause of Divorce. Here’s How To Avoid Them

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Cash can spoil your relationship — so if you say “I do” on the altar, it is advisable additionally say “I DO” together with your funds.

I DO is a framework I developed for navigating your funds as a married couple. It goes like this:

Initiate the Dialog
Divvy Up “Yours, Mine and Ours” Accounts
Opt For a Prenup

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To point out you the way it works, I am going to provide you with a real-life instance — with the movie star couple Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Inexperienced.

Step 1: Provoke the Dialog

Initiating a cash dialog looks like it could be a no brainer — however a variety of {couples} put it off.

That is what occurred with Sharna and Brian. “ We had a child loads faster than we thought we had been going to,” Sharna instructed me on my podcast Cash Rehab this week. “I feel as a result of it was like going via a tunnel at full velocity at first of our relationship, there have been some conversations that simply bought missed.'”

If you have not had this dialog but, have it now. Do not wait a second longer. When you wait till the “proper time” to have the cash speak, it will be too late.

So, what must you speak about? This is a spot to start out:

Step 2: Divvy Up Accounts

This is the primary query that {couples} face: Whose cash is whose?

This can be a private choice, and there is not any system that works for each couple. Some {couples} mix funds. Some preserve them separate. Personally, I like a system I name “Yours, Mine, and Ours”.

It is easy: You retain a checking account that is only for you, your partner retains an account only for them, and also you each contribute to a shared account. This fashion, you keep some monetary independence but additionally construct a monetary life collectively.

That is what Sharna and Brian do. For Sharna, it helps preserve the magic alive. “I do not wish to be over his books, as a result of that is not my job,” she stated. “I really feel like that takes a few of the romance away.”

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However as you create a plan to merge funds, you also needs to create a plan to disentangle them. Which implies…

Step 3: Go for a Prenup

When you’ve got any type of an “Ours” or joint account, a prenup is crucial.

This dialog could make folks uncomfortable. I first spoke to Sharna a yr in the past, and requested her whether or not she and Brian have a prenup plan. She visibly froze, then instructed me it could be too awkward to debate with Brian.

However a yr later, she’s modified her tune. “ I feel defending your self is a ravishing factor,” she instructed me extra just lately. “Figuring out that every part is honest and you have made the massive choices, I feel it is extremely good.”

I fully agree — however I perceive her worry from a yr in the past.

Prenups really feel unromantic and worrying, largely as a result of folks consider prenups as divorce planning. However actually, it is simply insurance coverage. You aren’t getting automotive insurance coverage as a result of you are planning on getting right into a automotive accident. You get insurance coverage in case of an emergency, and also you hope you may by no means have to make use of it, nevertheless it makes you’re feeling a bit of extra comfy in your automotive.

That is how a prenup ought to really feel — it is an emergency measure that makes you’re feeling safer in your relationship, not much less.

The intersection of affection and cash may be messy, however should you observe the I DO framework, you may be doing proper by your associate, your self and your pockets.

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